I felt like venting today and what I have been feeling about life, my kids and business ventures. No specific reason why, I just felt like airing out some issues that I have been thinking about. When my mom visited me a few weeks back, it made me think about how my kids are getting older, things I want to accomplish and more. A lot has been on my mind and keeping me up at night. Gemini’s are natural born thinkers. Our mind is forever awake and racing. Here is my randomness inside and what I’ve been thinking about lately…
When my mom visited me a few weeks ago, it made me sit back and think about what I am doing with my life. I have two teenagers and one just graduated from high school. I see some of my friends I follow, buying vehicles for their graduates and carrying on and then I think about the car my mom gave me when I was in high school. We didn’t buy Dootie a car when she graduated because for some reason, I just think that she should get her own. Not that we don’t have it to give, we just don’t know if the kids of today are as appreciative as we were. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids with all my heart but they are definitely a different breed.
Hell, sometimes Dootie has more money on her than I do, she is a true hustler at heart. She saves but she also blows a lot of money too. I have fussed and taught her how to save, it goes in one ear and out the other though lol. I am just not that kind of mom that rewards my kids everytime they do something. I congratulate them yes but I am not just going to over extend myself and do things because its the norm. I like to think that I am a pretty easy going mom, cool mom. I’m up on trends and I know whats going on.
My son Pootie can be a bit challenging to me because he is not social at all. He wants no parts of the outside world and gets agitated very easily when he has to deal with the public and talking to others. My husband is a homebody too and doesn’t really like large crowds but atleast my husband will go out and do things geesh. Its just funny to me how I have two kids that are total opposites. One loves being social and one hates it and to think their mom is in the public eye lol.
When I turned 47 on my birthday on Sunday, I started to think about what I have accomplished and it just doesn’t seem like much to me. I guess if I had all the things that I see others have, yeah I didn’t really achieve much but then I have to digress. Coming from the background that I had growing up, I guess I have beat the odds but it has just been so hard for me these last few years.
When I was younger I fought hard for so much and now it seems like I can NOT achieve those simple things that I had so easily before. I don’t know if its the government, our taxes, or what but do you guys find it hard to launch something, find funding etc? I also find it extremely hard to save! I remember just opening my nail salon like it was nothing, buying a house in just 2 or 3 easy steps, my husband starting his own trucking company. But then I have to remember that I didn’t have kids when I had all those things back in the day lol.
Now, I am a bit more apprehensive on doing anything. I think I know what it is though. By me interviewing and seeing so many businesses open and close, it scares the crap outta me! I also see lots of my friends buy these big homes and flashy cars then months later they are moving, downsizing and those flashy cars are NO MORE! Some people live for the moment, that has never been me. Yes, that has scared me a bit and make me think extra hard on anything I do now plus its just not me anymore, I have a family to think about too. I just don’t want to fail is what I keep stressing about. God does not give us the spirit of fear but it sure has made me open my eyes and wise up though lol.
So what do I do? For now, I am just sitting still, very still. I watch, I observe and I learn from others. I have been pitched, asked and even thought about going into other business ventures but I am just very careful with any and every decision moving forward. I’ve been doing a lot of research too and I see whats out there but within a few months to a year, people are on to the next thing, people are fickle and move to fast without really doing their due diligence. Thats just not a good idea for me and my brand. You know those qet quick scams, the pyramid scams, the quick money scams, its just not for me.
I’m sure you may have wondered why I haven’t launched anything and its just because I’m careful of my brand and what I attach myself too. I didn’t want to sell t-shirts, coffee mugs, have an online boutique etc. I want something very unique that will have longevity, fits me and most of all makes me and others happy! Most of the things I see are very trendy and will run its course, people will get bored. I want something more than that for me and my family. So folks I am taking my sweet ol time and I know it will hit me like a bolt of lightening when it happens. So for now, I am just cruising along and doing my research but in due time, just you wait and see! xoxo